Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Put On Some Confidence

On my way home from work yesterday I saw a celebrity. Calm down, it wasn't a big celebrity--just one to the Tallahassee area. As a matter of fact, I haven't met one person in Tallahassee that does not know of this guy. The funny thing is most people don't even know his name. Heck, I don't even know his name. But the only thing that Tallahassee knows is that this man loves to soak up the sunshine, feel the breeze, and ride his bicycle. I am referring to Tallahassee's speedo bicyclist.

I have come to love this guy! The amount of guts it takes to get on a bike and ride around a large city in a speedo is legendary. If you don't know me, my sense of humor is very wide and open to anything random...to things such as this. Of course, if this guy was completely nude I wouldn't be a fan but since that is not the case I'm laughing my butt off!

Here is the scene; I'm sitting at a red light close to where I work, thumbing through the radio, and tired from a long day of work. Then, all of a sudden, I see a glimmer of white waving in the air. It is a white ribbon being used as a headband with two long pieces trailing behind. Within the crown of that ribbon is a head that is attached to a well tanned, fleshy body wearing only one article of clothing called a speedo, otherwise known as a "masculine thong". The sight startles me at first but then it lifts my spirits as I notice one of the hands giving everyone the peace sign. Simultaneously traffic returns that peace and love with honks from their car horns. To be completely honest, it was a really cool moment because it made me; a) laugh really hard, b) honk my car horn too, and c) think about confidence.

What would it look like if I gained that amount of confidence? What would my life be like if I didn't doubt myself? I'm sure I wouldn't go as far as this guy but it would definitely look different from what it is now. What about you? Do you ever doubt yourself? Your abilities? Your qualities? Well, don't...because what you are is awesome and unique. Strengthen your strengths and allow yourself to shine! Just don't go any further than this speedo guy, okay? okay. God bless.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Pee Before You Pump

Two weekends ago Ashley and I went to a wedding in the Pensacola area. It was awesome. The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was top notch. The food was very pleasant and the BBQ pulled pork was tear-worthy! So needless to say it was hard when we had to leave early. We live in Tallahassee and had church the next day so we needed to get home at a descent hour.

As we made our way to the interstate from downtown we realized that we needed to stop and fill up the car, Ashley's 2003 Mazda Protege. So we stopped and got some fuel. While pumping, the sensation to urinate consumed my mind. I had to pee so badly that I could not think straight. I ended up stopping halfway through in order to go to the bathroom. Immediately afterward I felt that we should be on our way and that I could just stop and get more fuel later down the road.

Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, "What's the big deal with this story? I have dealt with this issue before and it sounds like you handled it pretty well, Justin. Great job. This is an entertaining story--totally not a waste of my time." Well, just you wait.

Right when I was about to pull out onto the road the car sputtered and died on the spot. Boom! It was dead. "What the crap!" Then it dawned on me. I just reverted to what I normally did when I filled up my car--I just put diesel fuel in a gasoline engine. So I threw it in neutral, got Ashley behind the wheel, and pushed it out of the way.

Luckily we were only a few yards down the road from a place where I use to work, Academy Sports and Outdoors. From my experience, I knew that the fishing department had siphon hoses for boat motors, so I bought one in hopes to pump out the diesel fuel. I tried to siphon the fuel out for about two hours. I even had to show off my farming skills by dissassembling the siphon hose and putting it back together so that the longer hose could reach the fuel in the tank. Right about that time a homeless man informed me that automobile companies started manufacturing cars with a rubber ball that only allowed fuel to enter the tank in hopes of keeping thieves from stealing fuel. "Great, a clever invention for the common good has just now pooped in our faces" that was my response.

At that point there was nothing else to do within my expertise. So after about three hours of being stranded at a gas station we ended up calling roadside assistance. It was a stressful night that Ashley and I will never forget. I would like to say that nothing like that will ever happen again but that would be a bit ridiculous. No one can ever predict when weird, stupid things happen. The only thing that can be done in times like those are to respond with maturity and a positive mind. For me, I can proudly say that Ashley and I responded very well.

The moral of the story...
be mature...
stay positive...
and pee before you pump.